Divorce, Family, Parenting, Worry

Diane’s Story: Divorce and Missing Out

Recently, all of my five children, their spouses, and my 12 grandchildren were going to celebrate their dad’s 80th birthday on a vacation in Colorado. A huge house was available for all of them to stay the week and be under the same roof with food, fun, and fellowship. I had been divorced from their father since 1980. We both remarried and have been with our present spouses for more than 30 years. Forgiveness in our broken relationship had already taken place many years ago.

Since this event was planned for many months, I didn’t think about it too often until the time came for everyone to head for Colorado. As I contemplated all the dynamics that I would miss with the family, my emotions started to react in ways that could leave me in a pitiable state. Since I’ve dealt with rejection and its various forms, I did not want my negative response to erupt its ugly head. The evil one knows my weakness so I decided to turn my gripe into a prayer. This indeed was a mind renewal effort thanks to the Holy Spirit. I had to remind myself of 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, which says: “for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” I repeated this scripture any time I started in a downward spiral regarding one of my strongholds: rejection.

A Lord who doesn’t reject his own

Because of the Lord’s presence in my life, I was able to call on Him as the Lord over this whole situation. Jesus is the Lord of my life and I praise Him for choosing me as a child that will never be rejected in His eyes. He has given me unwavering hope, for He who is promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23, NKJV).

The sins of self-pity

If I continue to hold onto rejection and other sins of self-pity, I am aware that I have to confess this state of mind to the Lord and ask for forgiveness. Because I live in a fallen world with fallen relationships, all of these struggles with a fragmented family will be there until I reach heaven. This is a natural repercussion of divorce that can be ongoing. I have to be on guard against the enemy: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8)

Savior of all my adversities

I’m forever grateful that Jesus saved me from having resentments and bitterness. The cross bore all these adversities in my life and the lives of all the other members of my family. I hold fast to 2 Peter 3:9, which says, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (NKJV).

The gift of faith

Because I’m a Christ follower, I will use the gift of faith that the Lord has given me. I will pray with expectation and trust that God has my best interests in mind when He answers my prayers. My refuge is in Him, as spoken in Psalm 62:5-7 (NKJV):

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

God’s faithfulness to me has always been my mainstay. I will praise Him for the time my children had to be with their father and the fact that he is in their lives and they all love each other. The time was used when he, their father, gave his life story to the family with regrets about our failed marriage, but also acknowledged how God had worked in his life to be where he is today — a Christ follower!

Indeed, the character of God’s faithfulness was shown as I contemplated the miraculous things I heard about that week. To the God of praise be all glory! Amen.

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